As our children decide that they simply must grow ;) we have been revamping boundaries within our home. It's interesting (more like hellish) to experience a child who has outgrown the old and is straining towards the new, needed model of 5 yr old-land.
I hit a horrible hot point that I struggled to see through last week and called my partner in crime - my sister, Holly. (Levi was at work and dually frustrated, anyhow) She just had her third punkin and is a welcome mental respite. It's good to hear other people's children being normal and a bit wacked out when you know they're fabulous parents. Kids are weird sometimes and it's fantastic to just let them stretch out in that weirdness and "find themselves".
There is a great teacher out of Redding, CA (Can any good come from... Just kidding...) named Danny Silk who helps folks navigate the slushy sea of parenting. Holly's 15 min pep talk was pure Holly-fied Danny. Between that talk and a good restful moment of prayer, I now have a loose strategy (and it's working!!)
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11 comments:
too sum up......
just beat them a lot.
:)
l.
Flexible, flexible, flexible (every child is unique)
patience, patience, patience
consistant, consistant, consistant
last hint: don't use all of your energy now..you are gonna need it for oh 10, 11 to 18 or more
LOL...i tell everyone "enjoy the toddler/elementary years"....it gets much worse!! Rejoice in the fact that they are home and safe and their mouths really don't run on too much, yet!!
Good thing about it is that God gets us and them through it ALL!!
Bless you beth...
wassup beth?
of course most of what i did w/my sons is lost in the rosy glow of old age...
love you
joanE
Joane-
Just being around you gives my life a rosy glow.
It is nice to see I am not the only one struggling with parenthood!
Thanks for sharing...I will check out this Danny Silk guy.
Take care.
We all struggle with parenting. I think that's why we have the saying that "it takes a village to raise a child." Not necessarily to actually raise the child, but to offer advice, support, and encouraging words to the parents. I just can't imagine my adorable niece and nephew causing you any havoc though. I think you're making stuff up! LOL!
How does the Doctor deal with his children? He simply wishes sometimes he could just sell them and move away to surf in SoCal. Thinking of that when the kids are being monsters gets him through until then next time he likes them again.
so you tantalize us with the sentence "now I have a loose strategy" and then you don't share the strategy? torture!
share share bethany...and while sharing cd we please know the horrible hot point.
loving all of you...
joanE
Hols could prob. share Danny in fine detail, but what I pulled quickly was:
Choices - always have 2 acceptable ones available
Chart It - CLear sense of "you're doing great, you're in warm water, you're getting your hide tanned) We drew, together, a huge stoplight on posterboard with pictures of what good, stinky, awful behaviour looked like and the results of each.
Hard spots - I struggled with car-time. When your angel grows devils horns and raises the unholy hordes of hell in the minivan...what's a mom on the road to do? Ahh yes, "Son what you are doing will earn you a yellow because you are HASSLING and BACKTALKING. Did you know that? Do you want that? D0 you want to change your behaviour? You don't? What a bummer - when we get home you will have a timeout and a chore. Sorry bud, next time you can make a GOOD choice."
Responsibility - When a child disrespects, beats his sis witha hairbrush, etc... he/she TAKES FROM THE FAMILY. In return, we need to train to GIVE BACK in an age-appropriate way. Each child can help - I had Cedar take out all the little trashcans around the house.
I've gotta run quick - but my hot point was unlovely: Raising my voice, blaming, guilting, maybe even a cussword and other yuck. I hate reverting to 4 yr old behavious and that's very close to what it looked like.
Honest, that Danny Silk DVD ... where were you 25 years ago??? I love any guy who can almost make you pee your pants laughing at his true life experiences in child rearing and then hit you with such a hunk of insight you almost fall over. Of course then I look at the B-Girl and think, "She turned out just GREAT despite our inexperience at every stage of childhood (Beth being #1 Child). All I can say is that God can cover a multitude of bloopers.
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