Well, enough is enough. As I have been able to shift into a more focused mamacita mode, I've realized an awful truth. Super-B was right. :)
Super-B and I complement each other in our parenting styles which usually turns out well. He tends to be more structural (which helps when I'm feeling tired or lazy) and I'm more gentle or preceptive (like when the w.d. smacks a Barbie on Super-'s face to wake him at 5am to play) We love them and want them to learn to think, not just obey.
Super-B said I was too soft, and too inconsistent. I've really worked on the inconsistency part - but how much tenderness a mom gives is a tough crossing to navigate. I go there by default. Sometimes the embarassing old-school "Protect them from the mean, misunderstanding dad" mental shenanigans crop up, too.
But there comes a time... I have always heard that if children will obey on the 3rd time, they will obey on the 1st. I've resisted this philosophy because I wanted to give my kids time to think about truly obeying. It worked at first, and obviously in time, fails.
As Levi has been working more, I've had to put on my big-girl panties. And I am tired. But I've decide I have the bootie to wear the panties which unloads like this:
Kids need to learn to respond to their mom's voice immediately, no excuses (except for hearing - we extruded 2 inches of wax from Cedar's ear today by candling -remarkable!)
1st time obedience is important, and so is the patience for kids to grow into that. Frankly, I still haven't and God loves the prodigal - but to help them avoid unnecessary pain because of good listening is common sense.
Sassy mouths must be quickly curbed in. The first time Cedar was incredibly sassy - I actually smacked his mouth. He started crying and so did I! Levi and I had talked for 4 yrs about how we would NEVER hit our kids in the face. It doesn't serve a purpose to smack a face other that to negatively shame. It was the weirdest instinctual reaction that I will never do again. Ugh - what a wake-up call to my lack of a plan and lack of emotional self-control.
We've now spent a pretty yucky week and a half shifting into a new gear - the gear of "Momma will not take your crap." Boy, I am learning and having to be humble in the midst of this. Can anyone relate?