Monday, August 4, 2008

turtle-brain

So I moved into an area that is type A.  Not generally a big deal until you have da wee ones.  And they enter school. 

My brain being the gift that it is, vainly struggles to keep above water when it comes to "Now make sure your child brings a turtleneck to school on Monday" turning into "Mom, no one else had a turtle at school on Monday..."

There is a strange underlying current in the brains of women on the A side.  I'm not sure how to navigate these waters.  I know I am a frustration, an amusement, sometimes even an irritation.  Our world seems to be on the terms of the A type.  I have actually taken jobs and responsibilities completely out of my league in these linear lines of work to try to grow and mature over the last 10 yrs.  But over time, I've discovered I just feel like the weirdo. 

What do spiritual, artistic people do that involves building bridges and not cloistering and complaining about A-land... I'm pursuing what that means for my little world right now.  I've polished the outside for long enough and long for my inner rawness to get messy and find my voice in spirituality and art.  My wildness needs my empowerment.  I LOVE my type A friends and actually need them.  I think thats part of the power and humility of community.  It's just time for me to be over the sense of insecurity of not measuring up  - because in these areas I will never in my weakness be as glorious as someone's strengths.

How freeing.  How beautiful.  Where is my dreadlock wig?
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