Interesting how pressure steams out the true emotions of the heart. It's so easy to hold things together when life is together. But today as Afton accidentally pooped in my hand (some might consider that in itself birth control) and after I threw the ca-ca in the toilet and toilet water splashed in my mouth, I was able to laugh.
But let's process a morning where I'm tired, coffee-less, QT less, there are internal and external pressures, and something hits the fan. I think that's a good measure of the real me. Some might excuse that and justify crappy reactions because of circumstances, but I have to wonder about that.
Justifying poo-poo personal behaviour just seems like whining if you hear someone else do it...
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19 comments:
Tempered in the fires of experience.
Oops, no follow up for that. I still like it, though.
I think our reactions under pressure are road signs telling us exactly where we are. Lost it because you were experiencing far more pressure than you were willing to admit? Oops, you may not have been heeding the signs from your body/soul/spirit/mind/family. Managing to not lose it, and losing it, are indicators of your awareness of exactly where you are at any given moment. Man, if I could jerk back some of the things that have come out of my mouth under pressure! Ouch. But, I can always depend on those moments to teach me that I have been ignoring something or losing sight of context.
As I grow older (some might say, "decay") I also learn to appreciate more those times when I draw in breath and then, magically, let it back out with none of the accompanying, damning sound. Thought twice, I did, and thought better of it. Learned internally instead of in front of everyone. Oh joy, oh rapture, an adult moment!
wow. don't know that poopy toilet water in my mouth would lead to such deep reflection. in fact i know me, and i know deep reflection would NOT be the result. you're so good beth!
Wow. I mean, that's really all I have to say. Wow.
It just seems like crappy reactions are soon followed by guilt/remorse (neither of which are uplifting in the slightest) so by choosing not to react you are automatically choosing to feel better and skip the negative stuff.
as chad says, "the anger is in YOU, holly". im beginning to believe him.
what holly just said is SO TRUE. i mean, i've had some crappy stuff "done to me" in the last coupla years and i've had well-meaning girlfriends say "you're too nice. i'd be more jaded if i were you." my question is: why? being jaded doesn't change my circumstances and it doesn't change people, it only succeeds in making ME feel worse. and i like me, why would i do that to me?!
Wow. I had a moment just like this today. (well, not the toilet water in the mouth) Things were piling up right before church and I did not overcome. I was thinking all these justifying, judgemental thoughts and it the Lord cut in on my pity hurricane:
"Toughen up."
For some reason that helped.
Uncle Ricardo, you are one of my favorite forms of decay. ;)
I'd love to hear how all you folks process your anger/frustration healthily. Besides rocking back and forth in dark corners...
I see anger and frustration as reactions of the child inside. Apparently my child is alive, healthy and ROCKIN'! The formulaic "deep breath" still gains ground in times of need, if I can just shove that "me-me-me little whiner" into his time-out chair before he gets me to "exhale with sound."
Much of the time, when I lose control to him, the processing involves both internal and external muttering until the steam pressure drops to the point I can sit him in the chair and just look at him. Embarrassment is a quick healer.
In the best of times, I can take a moment and, if it is a person I'm dealing with, rather than a situation (computers!!!!!) I can step back and assess the situation and approach it from a communications problem point-of-view. If I acknowledge that my emotions have become involved, and that I don't think they belong in this situation, I can ask the other person to help me get to our conclusion and sidestep the drama. That shows respect for the other person's abilities as well as trust that they can help. It also releases some control. It helps to laugh at yourself later. That also let's the other person know that you recognize the frailty of the human condition and that they can get a little slack if they find themselves going off the deep end sometime.
Oh, letting go in the first place helps, too.
I have a couple of work relationships that are solid because of the amount of trust there is that we can REALLY disagree and be fine five minutes later.
PS - "favorite forms of decay." I didn't know you were left-handed.
coffee and blogging help :)
My job is to fight people with words. Now that's a pressure-cooker environment, and I get it from two sides - the client and the opposing side. Sometimes it is very, very difficult to disconnect that fighting spirit that allows me to be successful in my job, and I've found that I just can't talk myself out of that reactionary process. What I do is try to temper my process with less caustic rhetoric while maintaining a firm position. My best ways of handling the pressurization of my emotions is to submerge myself in things that make me happy or transform my emotions - usually some form of art (play my guitar or piano, paint, work on my novels, watch movies or my favorite tv shows. I actually need to physically detach. But, believe it or not, I've found that substantially decreasing my daily caffeine and sugar intake helps a lot. So, in that sense, Uncy Rick, I see your point - we are just like kids hopped up on sugar and caffeine. Considering how unruly they become and the little the pressure they are under, how much more volatile are we considering our much more substantial pressures?
wait...LESS coffee instead of more?! ugghhh
Jenny, you think it's tough for you? I live in SEATTLE! ;)
I have other reasons for reducing my caffeine intake, though. I've just found that "calmer under pressure" is a nice, unexpected side-effect.
I am a long way from mastering dealing with frustration! I rarely get too worked up in my reactions, but that is mainly because I am a "stuffer." Learned well (if you can call it well) from my German stoic roots to "suck it up" and pretend like nothing is wrong. See, the pretend thing is the problem. When things are not just ok, stuffing them down doesn't fix anything. I realize this is not a profound realization for most adults, but for me, I am learning (slowly) to address things when they frustrate me. It takes a lot of build up for me to get to a melting point usually, but it eventually happens. I am realizing that when something frustrates me, I really need to pray (novel thought) and ask God to either release the frustration or help me to take an action to bring that release, like talking to someone that has caused a frustration.
Learning. Slowly.
Girl, I laughed until it hurt!
"I'd love to hear how all you folks process your anger/frustration healthily. Besides rocking back and forth in dark corners...
Well, I don't know about the rest of you but I usually go out and find someone's hand to poop in and then smile to myself when the toilet water splashes in their face as they dispose of it =D
KT
OMG! Bethypoo, I don't know much more of this topic I can take...
Hey Doc, just sit back with a glass of water and some pooh and enjoy the show.
Happy Thanksgiving, all!
Bon Apetite!
OK, I'll refrain from poop talk for a while. My pastor told me that whenever his wife comments, "Hey, Bethany blogged...", his first comment is to ask about what poop story happened....
Just because I can't resist ....
Did you know there is a Disney published cookbook called, "Cooking with Pooh" ?
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