Monday, August 4, 2008

turtle-brain

So I moved into an area that is type A.  Not generally a big deal until you have da wee ones.  And they enter school. 

My brain being the gift that it is, vainly struggles to keep above water when it comes to "Now make sure your child brings a turtleneck to school on Monday" turning into "Mom, no one else had a turtle at school on Monday..."

There is a strange underlying current in the brains of women on the A side.  I'm not sure how to navigate these waters.  I know I am a frustration, an amusement, sometimes even an irritation.  Our world seems to be on the terms of the A type.  I have actually taken jobs and responsibilities completely out of my league in these linear lines of work to try to grow and mature over the last 10 yrs.  But over time, I've discovered I just feel like the weirdo. 

What do spiritual, artistic people do that involves building bridges and not cloistering and complaining about A-land... I'm pursuing what that means for my little world right now.  I've polished the outside for long enough and long for my inner rawness to get messy and find my voice in spirituality and art.  My wildness needs my empowerment.  I LOVE my type A friends and actually need them.  I think thats part of the power and humility of community.  It's just time for me to be over the sense of insecurity of not measuring up  - because in these areas I will never in my weakness be as glorious as someone's strengths.

How freeing.  How beautiful.  Where is my dreadlock wig?
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19 comments:

WTF?! said...

"Where is my dreadlock wig?"

I dunno, I hear rat-tails are making a comeback...

(at least where I live.)

Anonymous said...

For one thing, the sooner you find the path to embracing failure as the the great liberator, the sooner you will be free. We share a problem. Gotta be real good all the time. Doesn't work that way. We have to wade through the dreck to reach those momentary glimpses of brilliant creativity. Shortfalls are the stepping stones to actualization. Embrace your klutz. (The inner one, not Levi. Well, ok, him, too.) Get wrong so you can get right.
Go team!
(Team would be that crowd of voices clamoring for individual attention inside your head. Or is that just the scene in my head?)

levi fuson said...

dude are you gonna stop shaving your legs again?....

:)

l.

Mrs. Sara said...

That would have been my husband's first question, too. Of course, my REAL unshaven days were before he knew me.

Now I'm just unshaven because I'm pregnant and lazy.

Jenny W said...

unshaven, pregnant, and lazy. yummo:) anyhoo beth, the first step to fixing the problem is acknowledgement. you totally know your strengths and weaknesses, that's the biggest part of the solution! and now you're old enough to know you, like you, and not be ashamed of you. i think we all have this inner "thing" that longs to break loose every once in awhile; like i look all type a and have my business and carry a calendar, but there's an inner Harley mama in me that wants a nosering and a pheonix tattoo on my lower back. seriously. "get your motor runnin...head out on the highway"... who's with me?!

mummers said...

Your "down-to-your-butt" dreadlock wig is in Chicago living on your brother-in-law's head. Only a creative Type B person could come up with a way to make him part with his locks ... you go, Girl.

Elizabeth F. said...

First of all, you are quite glorious in your own strengths. Your strengths inspire all of us Type A's and we love you for making us see that we need to grow and stretch in the opposite direction.

We are all a work in progress.

Jenny W said...

i agree with e. i'm so type a i scare people, running around with my binder (seriously. no binder, no answers. ask my family). of course i can use the "single mom with a busy calendar" excuse, but there are plenty of those who run around SANS binder:) i ADMIRE flexible people, and so much want to be like them when i grow up!! (except for that type a demon in my flesh that really wishes everyone would just do what i do...) HELPUSALLLORD!!!!

Anonymous said...

"Turtle Brain" will be an awesome name for one of your endeavors, be it drawn, written or performed. Could you get right on that, please?

Matthew said...

Confession: I wasn't exctly sure what's meant by 'Type A'. I guess I always thought of it as being the oderly, on-time, schedual, etc. type of person. So of course I checked it out on Wikipedia. Did you know that the type A, B theory was developed in the 50s as a potential diagnostic tool for heart disease? worth a read in any case.

Elizabeth F. said...

Matthew,
That was worth the read. Interesting! Here's an excerpt:
"Type A individuals can be described as impatient, excessively time-conscious, insecure about their status, highly competitive, hostile and aggressive, and incapable of relaxation.[1] They are often high achieving workaholics who multi-task, drive themselves with deadlines, and are unhappy about the smallest of delays. Because of these characteristics, Type A individuals are often described as "stress junkies." Type B individuals, in contrast, are described as patient, relaxed, and easy-going. There is also a Type AB mixed profile for people who cannot be clearly categorized."

hmmm...I think I am in the middle somewhere after reading that. I'm mellowing with age and kids. LOL! So, Bethany Type B looks pretty good afterall. :-)

Here's the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Type_a_personality

Jenny W said...

i. love. elizabeth. only a type A would go check out the link, research it and report it back to us:) elizabeth you know i love that in you because i do the same thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ps i'll only die of a heart attack and stress if i'm without my aforementioned binder to keep me in line, lol. if you think i'm kidding ask gail at the church!)

Elizabeth F. said...

LMAO! You know I had to go and check to see how bad off I am. If I'm going to have a heart attack anytime soon I'd like to know so that I can put it on my calendar.

Jenny W said...

N i c e.

joan.ekimball said...

Type A stuff is MEASURABLE. That's what leaves Type Bs feeling like dorks when we cannot DO STUFF.
Type A's will not freely navigate those murky waters of personhood, connection, communicating on a deep level w/another...
These areas are not measurable, yet provide the relational grease and substance that is so necessary in life if we are to connect w/one another at all. IMHO

Elizabeth F. said...

I know that most Type A's are "do-ers" but I don't think that makes it impossible to connect with others deeply. In time one can learn to balance and prioritize things and people. I know that taking time with people and building relationships trump my to do list anyday.

Marissa said...

Joan, good observation. I think that's really true.

Matthew said...

That's Matthew by the way...

Anonymous said...

Hi, Beth!

(THAT really livens things up around here!)