Contemplating excess.
Why do we as a culture deem it necessary to purchase a 10 lb tub of cheeseballs for a small family? Why do we need gi-normous homes that are energy consuming and so poorly designed that we only use 1/2 the space? Why do we need huge front yards? Why do we buy and keep so much trash? Why is Christmas a million cheapo presents event instead of a few quality gifts event? ( I know some of you are irritated I even mentioned Christmas and consumerism together..)
I read on a blog recently the definition of consumer. One of the words used to explain was "devourer". There are global comics from as early as WW2 that visualize the US as an incredibly obese individual shoveling nations into it's mouth. Later through the 70's we appeared gobbling natural resources. I hate this picture. I've traveled internationally, and while there are positive aspects fronted about the US, if you can get someone to talk honestly - there is always a sense of the US taking more than their share. I know the other 1/2 being what we've invested and given, but have we ever taken an honest look of what we use personally?
One of my friends has a husband who could live the most spartan lifestyle (a 3 pr underwear kind of guy) . Probably why he's a pastor. ;) While this is extreme, I've noticed that every time we've moved it has been (painfully) refreshing and dynamic to release myself of the expectation of "thing comfort".
Finally, a story. When we got married a "clingy friend" made me a gift. It was not pretty, useful or practical. It was more like - horrible. But it was large and meant to be displayed prominently. I hung onto this for YEARS for fear she would come over and not see it out and being loved. And I didn't even really like the poor girl. The one time she visited my house - I yanked it out of it's dusty trashbag and laid it out. She didn't even see it. Realizing my re-re bahaviour, it went into the trashCAN and hopefully to the dump. Can anyone relate?
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26 comments:
Yeah, babe, I can relate. Although I don't save mountains of old newspapers or used tin foil, I do have an overdeveloped sentimentality towards things that have belonged to my family back in the past and the recent past. I've been married 34 years and the stuff has a way of slowly accumulating. So part of the issue is the Saving Side and then there is the Purchasing Side. It is interesting to note, that when we were in Mexico, I purchased next to nothing for me or the place we were living in. But as soon as I got home there were suddenly many things I thought I "needed". Since everyone has their own car it is very easy to get to where the stuff is in the U.S. (as opposed to having to take a bus and a taxi, etc.) and it is always coming at us from mags and t.v., I don't know, maybe consumerism is in the water ...
Clutter....declutter....clutter...and then declutter once again. It's a vicious cycle in my life God is weeding. No one is allowed to see my basement. Seriously, what an embarressment! Amvets is a monthly visitor and I refuse to replace the junk anymore. It's posts like this that remind me to stay the course!
Lori
Enormo garage sale this summer put a dent in it. Now I can more clearly see what all else must go. An ancillary benefit to the clearing is the peace that comes with the freshly uncluttered space that one can now enjoy. Our house is not huge, but I look forward to having more space in it and less physical and visual clutter. Craigslist rocks, too! Yesterday saw cash in hand and an unused, inflatable canoe go off in hands that truly would use it.
Cluttered space promotes cluttered mind. Cluttered mind is like doing the ballet of life while slapping at biting horseflies every 3 seconds. Not pretty.
I shall be released!
It is intresting.
I think Mom brought up an intresting point that in turn, brought something out of my thoughts.
So, we visted IKEA in Munich a few weeks ago and after riding the train to some far reaching subburb and then walking through an industrial wasteland, it really made me think twice about buying some God-knows-what only to schlepp it across half of Bavaria. So I didn't. A lot of people here also walk to the grocery store. Again you really consider what your buying and what you really need when you don't have a car.
But I like stuff too.
I guess in an ideal world we could derive comfort\enjoyment from things without needing them in a way that makes us dependant. An "enjoy the flowers while they bloom" mentality.
I am in the process of purging our apartment of stuff we don't need. Having grown up Mennonite, I tend to have a mindset of frugality. It leads me to buy less stuff than the average person, but it also leads me to save anything I might possibly be able to use in the future because being wasteful is a serious offense in the Mennonite mindset. I am all for reusing instead of just buying new--It's a little absurd how much stuff is disposable!--but I have to be realistic in my assessment of what might actually get used again.
I do think global issues do and should give us some perspective. Our resource use does affect others!
I will say, though, after living for 7 years in various apartments surrounded by neverending concrete, I DO miss big yards and wide open spaces! :)
GASP! I can't BELIEVE you threw away my beautiful Pilgrim-and-Native Barbie Doll Thanksgiving centerpiece I made for you!
Of all the low-life things to do!
i just love, "i don't even like her or her horrible gift" coming from YOU! you're reaching the roots of my being with all that ugly realness, and i respect you more for it. =)
about the garbage we love to love...did you see my rummage sale this year? or all the other stuff we had that we let the HUGE donation moving truck take with them when it was all over. we own nothing. just toothbrushes, deodorant, and forks. we're happier this way. less to clean up around. =)
love streamline. love minimalism. such as asia countries
-that was for levi.
loads of love, chica.
keepin' it real.
lora
i blogged today about the tendency in america to even have ROOMS we don't need. i don't have any, but REALLY want some. why is that?!
Matthew - thank you for the "schlepp." Somehow made my day. Much as I want to simplify, my Subaru is of the wagon variety, "in case I need to haul crap around."
I have a theory about wanting more rooms. (were you sitting down for that?)
We have multi-faceted personalities and we like/need to have different spaces for various facets to have their significant home. Does that float? Will that dog hunt? Or am I just putting lipstick on the pig?
Sara - the bloody turkeys freaked me out. ;)
Pun-buncle, I don't have a problem with space. I have a problem with useless space or useless, nonbeautiful space. I think a huge beautiful space has the potential to be art.
I agree with the process that too much ca-ca affects our mentality and perhaps even our spirituality. To be able to focus when 3 days of dishes threatens to collapse and send broken shards through small children is difficult.
Rickola-
that dog is hunting
I like different rooms with different purposes. It's the rooms without purpose that bother me (this is our second dining room, this is our guest pool, etc.)
If all the rooms do is put space between your family, your friends, even the people you don't like that much, I'm not into it.
I actually like Christina's dirty laundry sitting for too long on top of the washer because then I have to confront (in the most loving and perfect way of course) which is something I hate to do. It puts bumps in my road and that's a good thing because then I can't claim ownership of a road that isn't even mine.
"This house is Christ's. You are always welcome here. You may interupt my day and my schedual because you are important to Him and me. The important things are what you are carrying within and I would like a glimpse of you."
Isn't that what a home is? And I can choose to make that happen even in the midst of the nasty 70's/Victorian decorating.
Theoretically, dirty laundry is transitional. The things that get in my way and make me look at my focus are those things that I haven't even looked at in over two years (much less used) and that have absolutely zero "sentimental" calue. It's when Thingapalooza makes me rearrange my actual productive efforts because it is in the way.
I acknowledge the validity of those who are built to nestle in to their belongings in a healthful way. It just feels less healthful for me.
It's been my experience, having worked for an interior designer for 6 years, that only the most boring of people have excess emptiness in thier houses. Thease are the same sort of people who don't own books rather ENORMOUS flat screen TVs. I hate to be judgemental but there it is.
Side bar as to the extent of my judgemental ways: We were putting together a living room for a client one time. She was a "kept" woman around 40 and lived in this HUGE house with her daughter. In any case, we were looking for some items to homey-up her living room coffee table and when asked is she had any books she said flatly, "No". I was in shock. Pull my body up off the floor. Not one single book! No gas station romances novels or anything. None! Needless to say she DID have a dog that wore a diaper at all times; "Snickers".
So are our differents sides affecting spaces or are they effected by them?
Okay, so that's gonna be my new insult... instead of yelling "Get a job," now it's gonna be, "Buy a BOOK!"
matthew
i am anxious to know what her knickname was?
l.
Yes, Doo, divulge please..
I love "fat-fingers" the mostest!
"You may interrupt my day." Faith, I'm actually getting a revelation. I do not like that Sam I am. Keep your damn convicting messages on your own blog. ;)
Schnicky-Schnook; after she referred to the dog that way it was pretty much settled. She herself took on the name of the diaper-wearing soiled white terrier. Yes, we were cruel.
P.S. Beth, did I tell you that fat-fingers had to get a ring sawed off recently? I think she said it had something to do with "swelling".
All right!!!! May I clear this up now?
Excessive emptiness does not equal absence of crap! I guess I'm not the only extremist in the family. "having worked with an interior designer for 6 years..." Wow. Let me help you, gentle, youngest nephew. Without the clarity of in-person tone and inflection, statements like that can, seemingly, give people a clear view up your nostrils.
As to what affects what, my opinion is that it flows both ways, and is an expression of choices which, in turn, are reflections of one's own "interior" design.
Oh, and a life without books? Hard to imagine.
Not much to say that hasn't already been said, but great post! I am totally into the only buy what we need mind-set, and if hubby and kids didn't fight me I'd toss out half of the junk in this place! LOL! What do you do when the members of your family have differing opinions on this matter? I mean, I have to be respectful of their space, things/treasures but also set limits.
Just a quick book recommendation on the subject: Freedom of Simplicity by Richard Foster.
Not a quick read because it's pretty dense in places, but GREAT! So good.
I didn't mean to come off as upity, perhaps I should take more time and write with a little more discretion. Sometimes the blog format isn't condusive to thorough thinking. It's a tricky thing interior design. On one hand your job is to judge: What is wrong, what can be improved? I was trying to make a point about the type of person who builds/buys Mc Mansions. The concept of bigger is better is what I tend to be against. That's what I meant by excessive emptiness. Large cheap homes built to impress from the outside, full of nothing on the inside. I do not consider my views to be in any way superior to anyone elses and am sorry if I came off that way. That being said, i do think that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, or?
Personally, I was greatly offended by your statement! Just because I own an impressive, vacuous house does NOT mean that I don't own a book! I, in fact, own TWO BOOKS! Goodnight Moon, and The Cat in the Hat!
Good day, sir!
It appears that we were addressing two subtley different points. McMansion-itis is certainly a common blight around here. They call it the "Street of Dreams." Most people see the prices and the 10 foot space between these monsters and call it the "Street of Screams."
Meaningless mounds of crap versus consciously selected art and mementos is the war I'm engaged in. Should be easier since we don't have kids.
Girl, that's a complex issue...but I'll offer one perspective. Often we do these things because, well that's just what we've always done! Take your "huge front yards" and add to it "why do we put grass in them?". I takes so much water to keep them green, there's the whole chemical fertilizer runoff issue, etc.
We do it because... we've been doing it that way since you needed a place to hitch your horse so he could graze! We just never stopped.
Kelly
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